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Does Artyom Zub exist?
On May 1, 2020, the Ottawa Senators allegedly signed Artyom Zub, a highly-touted defenceman from SKA St. Petersburg to a one year entry level contract worth $925,000. At the time, this was seen as a bit of a coup, since the Sens had been mentioned as a potential suitor but nobody really thought the team could be a landing spot for a player looking to make the leap to the NHL. A lot of Sens fans asked some form of the question, “if he could go anywhere, why would he choose Ottawa?” A fair question indeed, but somehow, we got him.
Immediately, there was a frenzy of excitement. Hashtags like #ZubNation and #ZubGang sprung up and plays on his name like “Rub a Dub Zub, three men in a tub” were common until we all realized that the way to pronounce this totally real human being’s name is to rhyme it with “tube.” Damn.
After the signing, there was no more information about the team’s newest defenceman. After bringing in a KHL defenceman who tallied 22 points in 57 games with a +/- rating of 35 over that same span, one would think the team would do some sort of introduction to the fans. Pierre Dorion was quoted as saying, "We're pleased that Artem has elected to pursue an NHL career here in Ottawa. Artem is a smart defensive defenceman who moves the puck well and who utilizes his strength and mobility to make plays. His extensive international resume will help him transition to a North American style of play but his key attribute is his sound ability to defend." One would think a player with these great qualities would warrant some kind of welcome. Maybe an interview or an expose about a player that chose the Sens over other suitors, something.
There was nothing.
The next time fans heard about Zub was at Ottawa’s training camp, but this was basically limited to pictures of other, more prominent defenceman, like Mike Reilly, Erik Gudbranson, and Braydon Coburn, with the occasional shot of a player wearing a Zub jersey in the background.
It is now January 29th, 2021. Zub, If he is indeed a real person, is a member of the team’s taxi squad. Despite being blown out of the water in consecutive games, including an absolutely fantastic display of defensive incompetence on Wednesday night, Artyom Zub remains out of the lineup, in favour of other, more capable defencemen like Mike Reilly, Erik Gudbranson, and Braydon Coburn, who are doing their absolute best to get Ottawa another top-3 pick in the 2021 NHL Entry Draft.
But here is the thing…do we actually know that Artyom Zub is a real person? The question has to be asked. We’ve seen pictures. We’ve seen somebody in a Zub jersey. We’ve heard Pierre Dorion wax poetic about the qualities that would make Zub a great Ottawa Senator. But despite having a very weak defensive corps, DJ “You Have to Earn Your Ice Time” Smith continues to rely on the “vets” on the team, who were brought in to show the young players a thing or two about competition and professionalism.
So in the taxi squad, Zub remains, and the mystery continues. He could very well be a real person. He might be a flesh and blood man that knows how to skate, make a breakout pass, and backcheck. He could also be a figment of our imagination. It could be an elaborate ploy to meet a roster requirement. @BadNewsJays on Twitter suggested (obviously extremely tongue-in-cheek) that Zub might be part of a plan to launder money for Eugene Melnyk through made-up paycheques. This is just as plausible as his real existence.
As the Sens cold-streak continues and Sens fans get to watch in awe as Mike Reilly does pirouettes in the neutral zone before giving the puck away and Gudbranson struggling to cover his man or clear away one of the multitude of Matt Murray rebounds waiting for an opponent’s stick, all we can do is imagine that Artyom Zub, international man of mystery and intrigue, is watching the same game and smacking his lips. Maybe he’ll get in one day and Sens fans will finally have proof that he is not just a paper player.